Ok, I am going to do my best to recount this very profound and difficult to articulate experience to the best of my abilities.
On the night of the full moon I had a completely lucid out-of-body experience. This was something that is and was 100% new to me. I have never in my life had an experience like this one, and it left me both invigorated and totally freaked out. It has taken me nearly a week to even come to terms enough with this experience to put it into words. Perhaps this was some kind of elaborate hallucination, but it was not a dream, my husband can attest to that much because I was speaking to him during the experience.
Prior to the experience I was standing in my living room, talking with my husband and my neighbor who was visiting. My neighbor is an amateur artist, and was explaining to me the very complicated process that her art takes and the many steps she must go through to create the desired end product.
As I listened to her speak, I suddenly started feeling very strange. Admittedly, I was actually getting pretty bored because she went on and on and on and I was trying to pay attention but at some point I just sort-of stopped comprehending what she was saying, but was trying to appear as though I was politely interested. It got to the point where I could barely hold my head up, and as she turned around to talk to my husband, I left the room and went to lie on my bed because I felt so strange that I didn’t think I would be able to talk.
As I lay in bed, I could feel the “essence” of me vibrating. My “body” was buzzing like crazy and it felt like I was coming apart on a molecular level. It was not painful, but felt very strange. Suddenly I became aware that I was not inhabiting my body, but seemed to be in a kind of mist form, floating just above my body. I could not see my body with my eyes, but could feel it there, near me. In my mind’s eye I was shown a series of visions and given intuitive information.
I could hear very clearly the basketball game that my husband was watching in the next room, but it seemed far away and separate from me in a way that is hard to explain. I became aware on a whole new level of understanding, how the physics of this world work and how everything is a vibrational frequency and essentially composed of sound. I don’t know if this is correct or not, but this is the impression that I was given at the time.
As I realized that my being was hovering in a kind of mist, I saw that the very particles that make up my essence, my personality, whatever it is that makes me ME- were all made up of memories and daydreams and endless possibilities that could be created and/or destroyed in any moment. I became aware that every possibility or possible scenario that had ever come into being through my own creation, by dreams, day dreams, musing, imagination, etc., were no less real to me than this physical world that I currently spend most of my time inhabiting.
I could see the particles of my being spiraling outward in a sort of fractal, every memory and possibility could instantly be reality if I were to choose it.
At some point I became concerned that perhaps I was dying. I remember thinking maybe I was having a brain aneurism or something- that maybe I was fine one minute and would be dead the next! It was then that I realized I could go back into my body. It was very strange to whoosh back in and open my eyes and see the room around me. I can’t accurately describe how weird this felt. In my body I was completely lucid and asked my husband to bring me a glass of water. I told him that I was worried that I was dying and he didn’t seem to think that was the case, and told me to just relax. He handed me the glass of water and my hand was wobbling so badly I could barely take a drink and ended up spilling water all over myself.
I then laid back down, once again voicing that I thought perhaps I was dying (something that was again, not taken seriously, but I guess that is my fault for having this experience in the midst of the NBA playoffs, heh)- and when I closed my eyes, the same thing happened as before. I became a mist, a vibrational being that could go anywhere and do anything it wanted, I could choose any one of a million possible scenarios. However, I chose to stay with my body because I was not sure what would become of it if I left her there. It became apparent to me that my identity in this body, on this plane of reality was akin to putting on a mask. This is a mask that I have chosen to wear, and therefore unless I am really truly ready to give it up forever, I have to stay nearby. I was also concerned about my son in a detached sort of way- it is not my intention to leave him motherless- I was not sure what would happen to my body, it was clearly still breathing, and my heart was still beating- even though I was not in there.
I became aware that the physical bodies that we see are only a sort of compact calcification form of us. A kind of inside-out shell, and there is much more to our being than these bodies. There is a large energy field around each of us and as we move through this world of ours it is as if we are drawn of chalk and then smudged from one place to another, leaving our residue behind… that’s the best way I can explain it, anyway.
I know this sounds completely weird, and I don’t have any real idea of whether what I experienced was truth, but I do feel like I have been given a few shards of a much larger picture to ponder for a bit. Whew.