The Perception and Denial of Betrayal

Last night I had another very layered dream- it was quite long and had all kinds of different people in it, but thankfully the landscape and those involved were much less intimidating than my dreams had been the last few nights. I told myself before going to bed that I was done with those dreams, and apparently my subconscious listened.

I am not going to describe this dream in its entirety, only that part that seemed to have the most meaning for me.
My family is on vacation with my best friend and her mother, and also my father’s sister. It was strange to me that my aunt was there as I try to avoid her as best as possible in waking life because I think she is crazy and manipulative. There. I said it.

In any case, the whole family is there having lunch, and when my mom goes to pay she realizes that she cannot find her purse. I tell her that I will go look for it for her.

Eventually I make it back to where we were staying and I search her closet and room for the purse. I could picture the purse clearly in my mind while looking for it. It was a fairly large, salmon-pink clutch that contained her passport, credit cards, money and iPhone.

The purse being nowhere to be found, I moved along to my room and looked. For some reason I felt like I had been the one to lose the purse so I felt like I really needed to be the one to find it. As I walk into my room I see my ex-roomate’s exboyfriend sitting shirtless on one of the beds. There is a woman there questioning him- I don’t know why, but he is pretending to be my husband, and the woman is calling him by my husband’s name.

(A little backstory about this guy, he was a friend of mine who had serious drug problems and was basically a lifetime criminal at the age of 28. He and I became friends when he started dating my roommate. I tried everything to help this guy out of his addiction. I felt very badly for him because he had never in his life had someone be nice to him just for the sake of being nice. Any time any of us did anything nice for him he was suspicious of it. It was very odd. In any case, regardless of the fact that he was a criminal and a drug addict, he never stole from me or my housemates and never did anything violent in regard to anyone that I saw. However, at the end of their relationship, this guy and my roommate began having extremely long, violent screaming matches in the middle of the night, at which point I had to ask him to leave and not come back.

Several months later my husband found an article in the paper about him. He had tried to rob someone of their marijuana plants, but accidentally went to the wrong house and held up the next door neighbor instead. As he was leaving the crime scene he apologized to the person he had held up. This was typical of him, I could tell he was not all bad, but he was just so used to being bad he honestly did not know any other way. In the end it was sad.)

In any case, I decided that I wanted no part in this person’s lies to this woman who was evaluating him with some kind of form on a clipboard- at this point I was less worried that he was attempting to impersonate my husband and more concerned that he had been the purse thief.

Knowing he would be occupied for a few minutes, I went into his room which was next to ours, and searched everywhere for the purse. Finally I found it underneath a corner wicker table. It was completely intact with nothing missing, not even the cash. I remember having this distinct feeling of both betrayal, and also the feeling that he had somehow been framed by whoever had really taken the purse. I felt that there may have been someone else who took it, knew it was being looked for, and planted it in his room so that they would not get caught. I do not know why I felt this way other than I felt that my friend would never have stolen from me or my family.

I returned the purse to my mother and then woke up.
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1 Response to The Perception and Denial of Betrayal

  1. Nancy Atkinson says:

    A salmon-pink clutch??

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