Blinding Light

I woke up screaming in the middle of the night the other night. I can honestly say that I do not think I have ever done that before. I have jolted awake, gasping in terror about a million times- but I have never woke up screaming. I was having a restless night- oh All Hallow’s Eve– how it works its magic. I was not having dreams that I would describe as vivid, but they were enough to keep me from getting a good night’s sleep.

I had been sleeping off and on- waking every hour or so. My neighbor had friends over and I could hear them through the wall laughing and watching a movie. I find it comforting to be able to hear other people. I have never been the sort that needed complete silence in order to sleep. Sometime between two and three AM I had a couple of brief moments of sleep paralysis. I have dealt with sleep paralysis my entire life and now have some tricks that I use to try to get myself out of it.

Sometimes these episodes involve “the supernatural” and sometimes they are terrifying simply because I cannot breathe. I usually try to sleep only in certain positions so this doesn’t happen- but last night I was sleeping all different ways just trying to get to and stay asleep. The last time I went into paralysis mode I really started to panic after about a minute because I really couldn’t get any air in- and I wasn’t waking up. I started to wonder if I would really suffocate this time. I was able to move my legs a bit, and both of them were hanging off the bed on one side, so I decided to try to stand myself up, in hopes that it would either move me enough to get air into my lungs, or I would fall off the bed and wake up. I have no idea how credible this plan actually was.

Right as I was attempting to position my legs to push myself off the bed I was hit with the most blinding light you can imagine. It shot into my eyeballs and through my skull and then my head was filled with light and… something else I cannot describe. They were images, but I can’t say what they were. My first impression was that they were bad- but I think it was that they were just so alien to me, in retrospect. It only lasted a couple of seconds and shot awake, screaming! My heart was going off like a firecracker. It was like someone had wound me up as tight as they possibly could- and then let go. Energy was shooting out of me in every direction and the adrenaline pumping through my body was almost uncontrollable.

My husband had just come home from work and came in to see why I was making so much noise at 3 in the morning- and I told him it was just a bad dream and then I went back to sleep, like nothing had happened. Again, I am left wondering why these strange things continue to happen and I continue not to react to them in what I would consider to be a normal fashion.

I mentioned the dream to my mom the next day and told her that it felt like a “psychic attack.” I don’t know if it was or not. I haven’t had anything happen to me like that before, and don’t really look forward to it ever happening again. She suggested that perhaps someone was trying to wake me up so that I didn’t actually suffocate! I think that’s plausible.

I haven’t been able to remember any of my dreams since then. This whole week I am just one big blank slate, although I know that I am having very involved dreams because I continue to wake up feeling like I have just left a complicated situation behind- and I am exhausted and out-of-sorts all morning. Oh, perhaps I am just not a morning person. As I write this it is only 10AM and I still feel totally weird. So, I apologize if this doesn’t make any sense.

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1 Response to Blinding Light

  1. Wow. This is scary. Do you have any sage to smudge your bedroom?

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