Happy New Year.
I know I have been quiet around these parts lately. To be honest, I simply have not been able to eloquently or even coherently articulate myself, my dreams, or even my reality lately.
It seems like the last few months of 2010 were such a whirlwind- I was caught up in a cyclone of activities and appointments, and dates and work and events- I hardly had time to sleep, read, or think- let alone reflect! Luckily, I have a feeling that 2011 is going to be different, for me. The whirlwind events of the last year have prepared me for a more centered and cohesive 2011.
My dreams lately have dealt heavily with karmic events that have transpired in my life. One night after another I find my subconscious airing my dirtly laundry to myself, and forcing me to confront issues from my past. Although I am a different person now, there were several selfish years there in my late teens and early twenties. There are still issues to work through there that I simply buried and forgot about for a while, only to find a tree of thorns growing once revisited.
It is a crazy time in the world right now. I know that most people’s lives are going through one sort of upheaval or another. The upheaval in my life, currently, is more internal for the moment, but I plan on externalizing it more over the next year, hopefully in the form of productive progress.
I have thought long and hard about what I want to do with my life. It has changed many times- but mostly because I was only looking at one aspect or another at a time. I was thinking about my job, or where I wanted to live, or what kind of environment I saw myself interacting with, or how much money I needed to do something or other- but for some reason I never fused those things into a solid and cohesive plan or vision. I just lost interest with one thing or another because I felt like I couldn’t have everything I wanted if I only chose once piece of the puzzle.
It has taken me a long time to realize that the corporate world is not where I want to be. I know that sounds like a rather obvious decision to make, but I work for a wonderful, smaller company- and they have treated me so well that I couldn’t imagine leaving them- and my insurance package, and my 401K package, and my flexible schedule and ability to work from home in the afternoon to be with my son… It has honestly been the best situation for me- up until I realize that this wasn’t fulfilling to me and probably never will be.
Do not get me wrong- I am very thankful for my job, and could probably continue to do it for a very long time- but I feel that the world is very much reaching a tipping point or crescendo and I no longer feel happy doing a job that doesn’t produce something solid and bountiful. With that being said- I have decided that I need to follow my real dream- a dream that would take me out of the smog of the city, the cold of the Pacific NW and will allow me to grow a large garden so that I can sustain my family and friends. I want a yoga retreat, a place with beautiful fresh food and flowers- a simple life. I know this sounds completely idyllic and may be a pastoral dream that many share- but so what?
I have no idea how I am going to do this yet- but the intention is there. I am looking into business models for retreats and small organic farms and government grants- and who knows what else- but I am taking some action.
I don’t know how much longer the world is going to be the way that it is- but I am here to continue my spiritual, human journey and hopefully decode some of the secrets of the universe along my way.
This is a picture of the lodge on a 7 acre piece of land that is for sale. On this land is a fruit farm, a main house and 4 other cabins as well as a separate kitchen and bath house. I have my eye on it!
Here’s to a very busy and fulfilling year ahead! I wish the best to all of my readers. : )